Estate planning, wills and final testaments are not easy processes to navigate. Setting up life cover and considering what will happen to your family when you pass away can be deeply emotional and an experience many would rather avoid.

But as technology helps us create farewell videos, family portfolio galleries and digital vaults, it has made the experience a little less technical and considerably more emotionally engaging and fulfilling. 

However – we often plan for the event of our death alone. What if you and your partner pass together or in quick succession? Not only will your dependants need to charter the unknown territory of your physical assets and financial policies, but they will also need to deal with your digital assets and online accounts.

From online banking and social media to online shopping and digital subscriptions, most of us have anywhere between five and forty active accounts that will need to be closed, cancelled or managed in our passing.

And, all of these require passwords.

If you haven’t addressed this before, you can start today with a simple spreadsheet or table. You can print it out or set it up on your device, whichever makes more sense to you.

There are loads of apps (some free, some not) that can help you do this, but let’s take a look at a basic framework that covers the essentials and gets your thoughts aligned with what might happen to your passwords when you pass.

Set out four columns under the following headers:

1. Account (Facebook/National Bank/Netflix)
2. URL (this is the website address or link that you use to access your account)
3. Username
4. Password

You can always add more columns as you use the list a little more, these could include headers like:

1. Renewal date
2. Renewal/Monthly/Annual fees
3. ID number or personal identifying code for that supplier
4. Email (that is linked to that account)

You could also create groups for the different accounts to make it easier to update and work with going forward. Group categories would also make it easier for your partner or kids to find the relevant accounts easily.

These categories could be things like:

1. Email accounts
2. Banking
3. Business accounts
4. Internet/Cellphones
5. Entertainment
6. Social Media
7. Online Shopping

Our digital assets are still a very new area of estate planning that have not been fully explored, but if you have some good ideas on how you’d like your social media profiles to be treated or specific messages that you would like broadcast, these can be included in your planning.

But – almost all of these wishes depend on someone having access on your behalf; and for that they will need the four columns of the sheet that you’re about to set up! If you have more than ten accounts – just do ten today, and another ten tomorrow and another ten the day after until you’ve worked through everything. This will make it manageable and achievable.

We can’t change what happens to us, but we can change how we respond to what happens to us, and within us.

Everything ages, but not everything ages well. Some things can wither from the inside out if they do not have a well-developed resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back and withstand stressors. It is to have the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.

For us, resilience is something that we need to work on actively. If we were lucky to have a loving environment to grow up in, we would have a certain amount of resilience from an early age. However, as soon as our communities begin to find ways to disqualify, exclude, challenge and limit us, our resilience will be challenged and reduced.

This is why we need to work on our resilience.

Resilience is linked to our sense of, or connectedness to, our wholeness. Building resilience means that we need to embrace all sides of ourselves (even the warty ones!). Connecting with the heart is at the core of finding and creating inner wholeness.

As Dr Rosenberg, a clinical psychologist, writes, “We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part. Practicing self-compassion involves learning how to firstly practice self-care and secondly learning how to love yourself.”

This is also crucial in building financial resilience. Suppose we aren’t able to question and investigate how we feel about money. In that case, we will not succeed in promoting healthy habits, supporting a positive self-image, and fortifying resilient relationships.

On the lonerwolf.com website, they put it like this:

Wholeness and holiness are connected. Holy comes from the Old English word hālig, which means “whole, healthy, entire, and complete.” So to be whole means to be holy. Wholeness is holiness – and this is why when we have a direct experience of our wholeness it tends to feel like a mystical experience of awe, gratitude, love, and reverie.

But it’s not something reserved for mystics and people on lonely mountaintops. 

Wholeness, self-compassion, inner strength, confidence — resilience — are available to all of us. When we show up every day, helping to bring love and value to those around us, we can be resilient. When we make plans for our future and are forced to change those plans due to unforeseen changes, we can be resilient.

When we support our family through tough times or provide a safety net for our children, partners, or parents, we can be resilient.

It all begins with being kinder to ourselves; this is how we bounce back stronger.

Anything in life that is truly worth doing – is not easy. It is easy to forget this when we see others doing really well and making the difficult seem like a cinch. We don’t see all the hard work that goes into the background.

But in our own areas of expertise, we have had to start from level zero and apply ourselves over time to gain the knowledge and experience akin to being proficient.

When it comes to mindfulness, a key practice for our mental health, it feels like it’s something that should come naturally. All we need to do is focus our attention on the present moment, and we will be able to get it right. Mindfulness has been proven to calm the mind, ground the body, and increase overall well-being and good health, scientifically and spiritually.

We understand that it’s worth doing, but in practice, it’s not that easy. We get distracted, our thoughts run all over the show, and before we know it, we’re no longer practising mindfulness.

Mindfulness is an incredible tool to help us make better decisions around our finances, relationships, career and extracts more enjoyment and fulfilment from the activities that we love so much.

Here are a few ideas that we can all work on, gradually and steadily, to grow our mastery of mindfulness and make this journey a little easier.

DO EVERYTHING SLOWLY

Consciously slow down. Walk slowly, drink slowly, sit slowly, breathe slowly, talk slowly, move your body slowly — practice slowing down your natural tendency to rush everything. When we wake up to an alarm clock, judge our travel time by traffic flows, set meetings for productive hours in the day, watch the clock during dinners and keep trying to get to bed earlier, we’re living by the clock. And this will always leave us feeling rushed.

Slowing down helps us break the grip of ‘always feeling rushed’ and helps us focus on what we’re doing right now. When you slow your breathing – you’re focused on the air going in and going out. You’re probably doing it right now as you read this – and that’s a super start! You’re already more mindful.

Whenever your world starts to spin a little too fast, witness your breath and feel yourself begin to slow down.

LET EATING BECOME A SENSORY EXPLOSION

There’s a moment in the 2007 Disney movie, Ratatouille, where Remy and Emile taste some cheese that was struck by lighting. Visually, as Remy takes a bite, we see the background fade into a fireworks display, and his face shows the visceral delight in this new taste experience.

When we want to improve our mindfulness muscles, we can do it with every meal and snack during the day. As we slow those down (not eating on the run…), we can experience more of the flavour, texture and benefits of what we are putting in our bodies.

SPEND MORE TIME IN NATURE

We’ve said it many times in our blogs, spending time in nature is healing and helpful on so many levels. It boosts happy-hormones, improves our air intake, stimulates creativity and reduces emotional tension. But – it also makes mindfulness easier.

Living indoors all day tends to restrict the mind immensely. By going outside, we open our minds to experiencing more expansion and relaxation.

If we’re walking a little slower (let’s assume we’re not trying to get our lifestyle-plan points!), we will be able to commit to watching, smelling and hearing whatever comes into our field of stimulation. Experts say that doing this for at least half an hour a day is all we need to begin making mindfulness easier.

We can work on mindfulness of sounds, smells, flavors, feelings/textures, and what we see and start small. Focus on one mindfulness exercise and commit time to it each day. As this becomes easier, you can journal your experiences (this enhances mindfulness of a recent experience) and reflect on what you’ve learned or how you’ve changed. Be kind to yourself and have some fun with it!

Following on from the previous blog on considering early retirement, the focus of this conversation sparker is to look at five key things that should be on our to-do list before we make any decisions about our retirement (or any big life decision!).

In his article for Glacier, Dinash Pillay, National Business Development Manager at Glacier, said that there is much for you to consider before you hand in your early retirement notice.

We know that people live longer now than in previous generations, so there is the likelihood that you will live beyond 80. Dinash says that the most important question for people facing retirement, arguably, is: will my retirement savings last as long as me? Before you make any life- or finance-changing decisions, the answers to these questions will inform your decision-making.

When life is overwhelming and we have too many balls in the air – which is common for those in their 40s and 50s – writing down lists helps us to declutter our thoughts and process the emotions before they process us.

Here’s Pillay’s 5-Check offering to help us make better choices around our retirement planning.

Your to-do list before deciding to retire early

1. Consult a personal financial adviser. If you don’t already have one, appoint a qualified, appropriately authorised financial adviser to help you make some of these decisions. If you do decide to opt for early retirement, there is little room for mistakes or bad decisions regarding investing your money. An adviser’s expertise will go a long way in enabling you to invest and retire with confidence. Also, they are not emotionally attached to your money, so will help you make decisions based on the facts, objectively taking your unique needs, investment risk appetite and lifestyle into account. 
2. Scrutinise your household budget. This means evaluating every expense incurred in your home – the essential costs of living such as groceries as well as the luxury items such as entertainment. In every budget, there are fixed costs that are unlikely to change, whether you are working or not. An example of this is that you may be paying school or university fees for your children or you might still be servicing debt. Those costs may exist for many more years. So, regular review of your budget is essential. Consider that the monthly income from your retirement fund is likely to be less than your current monthly income. As a retiree, you might be able to save on costs like fuel, but also consider new costs that could be incurred e.g. your private medical aid that previously may have been included as an employee benefit at work. 
3. Think about who depends on you financially and how long you will have to support them into the future. Your spouse may not be employed; you may still have children at school or university; you may have a disabled child; or you may have unemployed or retrenched adult children whom you support. These dependents have to be taken into account in your planning.     
4. Know how much retirement savings you’re losing by retiring early. You’d be surprised how much you could lose in savings, even by retiring just two or three years earlier than you originally planned to. 
5. Decide on how you will spend your time. Taking a dream holiday is one option, but it can only last so long. Many retirees complain about boredom within the first six months into their retirement. They have so much time with few activities to fill it. Perhaps consider creating a new source of income using your skills, or find a hobby, or think about the possibility of volunteering in your community. There are many organisations that serve the needy who could use your skills and expertise. The point is to find a new purpose and to live it with confidence.

The way that we define and refine what retirement looks like will continue to evolve as we move forward, so remember that there is no ‘right time to retire’; it all depends on your personal situation. 

Going back to point one on the checklist is always a great idea!

Source article

Our concept of retirement is undergoing a metamorphosis. Demographic, societal, and workplace trends have all converged to offer a stage of life—at mid-life and beyond—that is much more fluid and flexible than we previously thought possible.  

When planning for retirement, we are discovering that the “old rules” have been thrown out and that “no rules” apply.  

Instead of “not working,” retirement has come to mean emancipation, the freedom to choose the activities and pursuits we find the most satisfying and rewarding. In other words, our retirement experience has become a matter of personal definition.

Because of increasing longevity and more active lifestyles, many individuals are viewing this time in life as an opportunity to explore their potential.  

Clarify Your Values & Priorities

Most importantly, creating a No Rules Retirement™ is all about identifying, pursuing, and living in sync with your personal values and priorities. In fact, the greater your understanding of what is important to you, the easier it will be to “paint a picture” in your mind of what you want your life to be like in this stage of life. In addition, the clearer and sharper your vision becomes, the more naturally you will gravitate toward that image. 

In addition, as you purposefully and progressively “make room” in your life for what is meaningful to you, the degree of happiness and fulfillment that you experience will grow and multiply. Therefore, an important mantra for everyone, regardless of age, should be “if it is to be, it is up to me!” To ensure your success, make it a priority to invest in all areas of your life. Always remember that the choices you make on a daily basis are cumulative and will determine the quality of life you experience 10, 20, and 30 years in the future.

Visualize Your Future

A good approach to preparing for your own No Rules Retirement is to first picture yourself at different ages and stages in each area of life. Take time to visualize what you would like to have, do, see, feel, and experience in all of these areas. Draw a picture in your mind of the life you want to have and then continue to build on that image.  

As you visualize the lifestyle and quality of life that you would like to have at midlife and beyond, remember that the secret to realizing your dreams is to maintain a “future focus.” This perspective will not only help you to maintain a positive outlook, but will also require you to acknowledge the influence of choices made today on your life in the future.  

There is a lot of truth to the old saying that “if you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” As you plan for your future, it is important to envision and articulate the various elements you want to include in your life composition. Whatever you identify and claim for yourself will become the internal compass of your life by consciously and subconsciously guiding all of the big and little decisions you make.

Invest in Yourself

In other words, a truly successful and fulfilling No Rules Retirement experience requires planning and preparation in all areas of life. Remember, health, happiness, and productivity are not blessings bestowed on a lucky few. Instead, they are the result of long-term life choices brought to fruition by the decisions made on a daily basis.  

As you think about your future and the kind of life you want to have, it is essential that you acknowledge the personal accountability aspects of both your current and future well-being. Always keep in mind that the essence of “the rich life” is the freedom to live in such a way as to support your values and priorities. And, in a nutshell, isn’t that truly what designing a No Rules Retirement is all about?

Reprinted by permission of Money Quotient, Inc.

There are few things worse than lying in bed at night, tossing and turning over financial stress. Lack of sleep only adds to our stress and hinders our overall mental, physical and emotional health!

Our money choices are linked to our life choices, and our life choices are linked to our money choices. This means that we have to find ways to reduce financial stress if we want to actively and intentionally manage our overall stress levels.

We don’t need to have all our debt cleared, loads of discretionary funds and everything figured out to have financial peace of mind. All we need is a plan, someone to support us in the journey and a way to identify stressors; this is how we fortify financial peace of mind.

We need to know where our money is going; tracking triggers change. As we track our money, learning where it comes in and where it goes out is not only a prudent practise but also loads of fun and deeply empowering. A major fear or stressor stems from not knowing how much money we have and why it doesn’t stay in our account.

It’s easy to fall into this position as we slowly acquire more bank accounts, retail accounts, debit orders and rewards schemes and see the prices of utilities frequently increasing. If we’re not tracking something as simple as our rates and water, we could be bleeding funds into municipal accounts that we weren’t 18 months ago.

Some strategies to cope with this involve more focused budgeting, whilst others could involve closing accounts and consolidating credit facilities. Everyone’s situation is unique, so it’s best to weigh up the different options inside of your own personal financial situation.

Many people also face the constant stress of not having sufficient medical cover. Whilst some plans are comprehensive, with regular changes in basic benefits, it’s not easy to always believe that we have the ‘best available’ cover. Private healthcare is expensive and mostly outside of the average budget, and if government healthcare is insufficient, medical cover products are essential.

There are myriad products available, from entry-level hospital plans and GAP cover solutions to all-inclusive medical aids. Still, there’s also a lot of stress that can be relieved by ensuring that you have a local doctor you trust and are happy to work with. Knowing where your nearest clinics and emergency rooms are and having a payment and admissions plan in place, should you or your family have a medical emergency, will also help fortify financial peace of mind.

Another challenge to our financial peace of mind is the anxiety around providing for our parents in their retirement. Many people who are currently close to – or already retired – are not comfortable discussing their financial situation with their family. This creates enormous stress and pressure on their children to have peace of mind that their parents have all they need to live comfortably in retirement.

Again – relieving this stress begins with identifying the problem areas and learning how to have constructive conversations that lead to plans and happier, more peace-filled sleep patterns!

In 1988, financial planner and best-selling author Venita Van Caspel wrote in her bestselling book Financial Dynamics for the 1990s:

“Our educational system continues to send forth our young with so little information about financial matters that they are like time bombs about to destroy their own and their families’ economic futures.  We equip them to earn good incomes and to live the good life, but we fail miserably as a nation to prepare them to know what to do with the money they earn.”

Now, more than three decades later, the implications of Van Caspel’s sobering commentary are more serious than ever before.  With the level of consumer debt skyrocketing and the cost of housing, education, and health care increasing at double digit rates, younger generations are facing unprecedented obstacles to achieving financial security.  In addition to these steadily climbing trends, we must now factor in unanticipated economic challenges brought on by the sudden onset of the COVID-19 Pandemic.  

Therefore, helping the young people we care about to learn effective money management skills, and to adopt good financial habits and attitudes, is more important than ever.  The first and most important step we must take is to examine our own money beliefs and behaviors, and then take action to get our financial lives in order.  Nothing is more effective in guiding the younger generation than providing a consistent and powerful role model.

Next, we must stay alert for teachable moments to share our financial expertise and wisdom. Very few topics affect us on a day-to-day basis like money, so there are endless opportunities to provide mini financial lessons via word and example.  

Lastly, commit to increasing our knowledge and awareness of ways we can encourage and equip the young people in our lives to lay the foundation for a successful and satisfying financial life.  Here are two great resources to help guide us in this mission: 

Make Your Kid a Money Genius (Even if You’re Not):  Best-selling financial author Beth Kobliner provides parents with a well-grounded guide to fostering a wise financial mindset and practical money skills throughout childhood and into young adulthood. 

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who are Grounded, Generous, and Smart about Money:  Author Ron Lieber believes that good parenting includes talking about money—a lot!  “When parents avoid these conversations, they lose a tremendous opportunity—not just to model important financial behaviours, but also to imprint lessons about what their family cares about most.”

Reprinted by permission of Money Quotient, Inc.

There is a thin veneer over everything. When we are distracted by news streams, overwhelmed by direct messaging and tired from keeping up with the Joneses, it’s easy to create a veneer that allows us to store and process more information without having to delve deeper into what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

It’s here that paradoxes are formed, and we can miss out on value when we aren’t able to dig deeper and find out more. Often, these paradoxes become most apparent in our later years, and we love to wax lyrical about how wisdom is wasted on the old and youth is wasted on the young.

Ultimately – we begin to accept (and awaken to) the opposite of so many things we once believed to be true.

Here are just a few of life’s paradoxes that can help us find more value and fulfilment in life.

Learn More to Know Less

This is also known as the knowledge paradox. That the more we know, the less we can clearly explain. Our inability to explain familiar concepts is a form of cognitive bias wherein experts often overestimate the ability of novices. As Einstein put it – the more I learn, the more I realise how much I don’t know.” 

This should be empowering, not frightening and should encourage us to embrace lifelong learning. Lifelong learners are built, not born. Choosing to keep learning is something we must actively do – it’s not reserved for some non-existent biologically elite.

Slow Down to Speed Up

Our parents and teachers would often say, “Less haste, more speed!”. Apart from being more mindful and present, slowing down gives us the time to be deliberate with our actions. We can focus, gather energy, and deploy our resources more efficiently. It allows you to focus on leverage and maximising returns.

When it comes to markets and investing, budgeting or risk management – this paradox is intrinsic to the sustainability of our planning.

Sprezzatura (“Simple is not simple.”)

The veneer of social acceptance places high praise on those who have the veneer of “having it all together.” The house, the family, the job, the investment portfolio…

Whilst the veneer may be entirely false, we need to remember that we see the end result, not the hard work that goes on behind the scenes. It takes more effort to make something appear effortless. Effortless, elegant performances are often the result of a large volume of effortful, gritty practice. 

Benjamin Franklin once said that when you are finished changing, you are finished. If we want to keep moving forward and thriving in times of hardship, we need to be dynamic and adaptable. Learning to adapt to the opposite of what we once thought true is not easy, but it’s a necessary step to find more value and more meaning in life.

In every culture and creed, there are traditions and philosophies about how to experience the best that life has in store for us, whilst overcoming trials and tragedies. From mindfulness to healthy eating, from exercise to stress management – we are often reminded that what we put in is what we get out.

Somewhere, in all of these pragmatic approaches, we can lose sight of the meaning of what we’re putting in, and become focused on the output. This is especially true when it comes to our money.

It’s not often that we attach meaning to money, and when we do, it’s attached to the money we have right now. We like to plan for the money we hope to have, but we are easily detached from the relevance and meaning because it’s a future goal.

This is where the Greek’s concept of Meraki is really helpful!

Meraki refers to the soul, creativity, or love that we put into our work, family, and other activities. It is the essence of yourself that you put into your work. It helps us find meaning in our money before we’ve earned it – not just for a future event.

There is a well-known quote by Kahlil Gibran – he said that “work is love made visible”. Meraki is all about a choice that we can make right now, today; a choice to find meaning in what we’re doing. When we love what we’re doing, or appreciate how it’s helping others (because some tasks will always be boring…), we will experience value and likely become considerably better at what we’re doing.

It doesn’t only help us enrich the day ahead; we can also start to include it in our planning. We can start to look for work and activity that we will truly find meaningful. When we pour our soul (blood, sweat and tears) into a project, we value the journey, not just the outcome. The whole experience becomes more purposeful and significant, allowing us to find fulfilment and be more creative.

Passion is a wonderful stimulant for maintaining positive mental health. Whenever we deal with people who truly love what they’re doing, whether they’re a barista or bookkeeper, an artist or an attorney, a teacher or a turner-and-fitter – people who are passionate are a pleasure to be around.

Remember, when it comes to making and managing your money, it’s not just about the meaning you get out – it’s about the meaning you put in.

The sandwich generation refers to working-age individuals who are in the precarious position of looking after their growing children and caring for elderly parents. 

They are effectively “sandwiched” between the responsibilities of caring for their children, who require financial, physical, and emotional support, and caring for their ageing parents, who may be unwell, incapable of performing certain activities, or in need of financial assistance.

Increasing lifespans and having children at an older age have contributed to the sandwich generation phenomenon, as it has more societal acceptance for adult children to live at home. With the added pressures of managing one’s own career and personal issues and the need to contribute to one’s own retirement, the individuals of the sandwich generation are under significant financial and emotional stress. 

In some cases, this generation has to postpone their own retirement planning because of the added financial obligations. There are some steps that members of the sandwich generation can take to lessen the burden. 

The first step is to have a financial discussion with all parties involved. For ageing parents, the expectation is that a lifetime of work has provided them with a pension or a nest egg that will help them cover part of elderly-care costs. If this is not the case, you should get assistance as soon as possible.

Even if finances are not currently an issue, they will become one unless you put proper attention into estate planning. If one family member is shouldering the majority of the burden of caring for an ageing parent, the estate should be discussed in that light. Although the sibling may not want to be financially compensated for their care, failing to confront the issue will almost certainly lead to bitterness among the family when parents pass away.

The goal for adult children is to encourage them to contribute financially to household costs and responsibilities, and move towards independence. There are several methods to promote this, but the simplest is to set the expectation that they will pay near-market rates for room and board. This eliminates the “mom and dad discount,” which permits them to live a more lavish lifestyle than their resources can sustain in the long run.

Many of those in the sandwich generation do not want to put their children in the same situation as they are. If you don’t want to rely on your children to care for you in the future, you should consider how you would pay for your own care. With the expense of care continuing to rise, it’s critical to start thinking about how you’ll pay for it now.

At the end of the day, there are no wrong or right ways, only paths of least resistance and greatest joy. Through communication, patience and understanding, you can make almost any situation work out for the best.